


Forgive My Sins

by woakiees



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Choking, F/M, First Order Poe Dameron, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Orgasm Denial, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:21:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22698553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woakiees/pseuds/woakiees
Summary: "You hated how quickly your gaze fluttered over to him — how much control he truly had over you. You hated the way your body reacted to just a couple of small commands thrown from him, and how he undoubtedly knew the effect he had on you."
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 110





	Forgive My Sins

You knew you were in for it.

You could hear it in the tone of his voice, in the sharp bite and the unrelenting sting. And that had been before your actions were even solidified, when they were still nothing more than thoughts rattling inside of your head. Before you had even made a firm and final decision, and before you had unabashedly flipped the switch to your comm system, effectively cutting off whatever venomous words your captain had been threatening you with at the time.

The quiet had been welcoming in the moment. It had given you time to think, time to act. You had been able to give your complete and utter attention to your plan, and still had enough focus left to make sure that you weren’t going to get yourself killed.

But now, the silence in the cockpit of your TIE was almost deafening, causing nervous butterflies to rally in the pit of your stomach as the last bout of adrenaline died within your veins. There was no doubt in your mind that he would be completely pissed off once you made it back on board, and that you might even lose your rank as a squadron leader. If there was one thing you knew to be true about Captain Dameron, it was that he hated being ignored. Hated not being in control, and you had blatantly defied his orders, not caring for a single moment as his voice crackled through your comlink, telling you to pull back and retreat, to disengage.

His voice had been full of tension, most of it due to the rage flooding his chest no doubt, but there had been something else there too, just under the surface, trying to break free. A hint of worry, perhaps, and maybe even a dash of fear.

But you also could have been imagining that — trying to comfort yourself in a moment of uncertainty.

He didn’t care.

You might have been his best pilot. His best squadron leader. The only person on board the Finalizer who challenged him, matched his banter with ease and just the right amount of snark. And you had fucked, several times, quick and dirty and only in the dark.

But he didn’t care, there was no way that he could.

You weren’t sure the man was even capable of such a thing. The only thing he seemed to care about was seeing how many times he could bend you over his desk in a single day, and even that was mere business to him.

At least, that’s what you assumed.

Unbeknownst to you, your reckless stunt and blatant disregard for his orders had nearly sent Poe scrambling to his own TIE, the need to protect you threatening to consume him entirely. And he was almost positive that he would have gone after you, had Hux not been in the room, staring him down, almost willing Poe to show some sign of affection for his most prized pilot.

Poe couldn’t allow that. Refused to let anyone, even you, know of his soft spot. He had a reputation to uphold, afterall, and a general he needed to keep off of his ass.

And even though you were certain that he didn’t care, you found yourself wondering again if you had maybe misjudged the man.

Would he have been standing in the hangar, waiting for you with his hands clasped behind his back, if he truly felt nothing?

You cursed under your breath, hesitating in the cockpit for just a second too long apparently, because Poe started tapping his foot and you swore that you saw him take a step towards you, his facial expression holding no room for patience. Still, you took your time climbing out, dropping to the floor with a soft thud, your knees almost buckling though it wasn’t from the force of your fall.

You kept your distance, thankful that the helmet covering your face hid the fact that you were so shamelessly staring at him. His short, gray dusted curls were disheveled, just barely, but enough to tell that he had been running his hands through his hair and tugging at the strands. His jaw was clenched, brown eyes full of an intensity that shot straight through you, but even from ten feet away you could see that they were also red and glassy. He was high.

Had he been high the whole time, or did he only use as a way to come down from the stress of the situation you had just put him through?

You didn’t know, and it really didn’t matter. It wasn’t like the familiar musk of spice lingering on his uniform was uncommon. It wasn’t like it would make a difference.

His lip twitched, and he took a few slow steps towards you, stopping when he was just close enough for you to reach your hand out and touch his chest. Not that you would ever dream of touching him so softly, especially not in front of so many others, even if they knew better than to even glance your way. No, your arm stayed limp at your side, and you hoped that he couldn’t hear how your breathing quickened through the modulator in your helmet.

He looked at you for a long moment, eyes boring into where he knew yours were underneath your helmet. You felt a shiver roll up your spine, and you had to repress the urge to shift nervously on your feet.

“Take it off,” he deadpanned, and for a moment, you weren’t sure if he was referring to your helmet or your clothes.

And even though you were standing in the middle of a bustling hangar, you really wouldn’t have minded if it was the later.

You hoped he wouldn’t notice the way your hands shook as you brought them up, quickly pressing the release on your helmet before pulling it off, situating it on your hip as you let your eyes look everywhere but at him.

And of course, he didn’t like that.

“Look at me.”

You hated how quickly your gaze fluttered over to him — how much control he truly had over you. You hated the way your body reacted to just a couple of small commands thrown from him, and how he undoubtedly knew the effect he had on you.

But he wasn’t smirking like you had expected he would be. No, his lips were set in a straight line, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he let his eyes travel over your face then down your body, almost as if he were searching for something. An injury, maybe? You weren’t sure.

His eyes met yours once again, and any tenderness you thought you might have seen within them was no longer there.

“You disobeyed my direct orders.”

Poe’s voice was almost as cold as his eyes, a threatening tilt to it that had the hair on the back of your neck standing on edge.

Now you actually shuffled nervously on your feet, willing yourself to hold his gaze, knowing it would only be worse if he had to tell you to look at him for a second time.

“Captain Dameron, with all due respect,” you started, pushing through the lump in your throat. “I’m not going to apologize for my actions. They didn’t put anyone else in danger, and I managed to knock out six X-Wings. Six less pilots to aid the Resistance.”

“And what if you had failed?”

“Then we’d only be down one pilot, sir. No one else-”

“I’d be down my _best_ pilot,” he interrupted, taking a single step closer, the electric spark in his eyes gluing you to the floor as you didn’t want to risk turning it into a blazing fire. “Leave the stupid shit to the lower ranks.”

“And then you would have lost just as many as the Resistance.”

His jaw clenched, and you could imagine that his fists did as well. He knew you were right, but the way he rolled his eyes told you that he didn’t care about losing a few low rank pilots.

Why did he care about losing _you_?

You shook your head gently, pressing on.

“Am I not supposed to take a chance when I see one?”

“You’re supposed to keep yourself alive.”

“I’m just a squadron leader. We’ve lost worse, and we’ve recovered. It would be just the same, easier even.”

Your words were only met with silence, one that surprised you because it wasn’t paired with a harsh glare. He looked almost conflicted, as if he wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure if he should. You had never seen the man at a loss for words before, Gods he hardly ever shut up, and it left you utterly confused and conflicted yourself.

You didn’t have very long to reflect on it though, because General Hux was walking up from behind Poe, and while having to deal with the other man usually filled you with tension, you actually felt some of it leave your shoulders.

“Captain,” he greeted Poe, causing the man in question to scoff. If Hux heard, he ignored it, turning his attention to you, jumping straight to business. “I need you in a debriefing room in ten minutes.”

You didn’t even have time to nod your head before Poe was speaking, voice tight.

“I can handle her on my own, General.”

His voice left no room for discussion, and Hux even seemed taken aback, though he didn’t bother to argue. It just meant that he had one less thing to do.

But Poe didn’t wait for Hux to confirm that it was okay, not that he would have relented had the other man voiced any objection. He simply turned on his heel and started towards the corridor that led towards the debriefing rooms, and you knew you were expected to follow.

You cursed gently under your breath, dread filling you. You nodded your head once at Hux before going after Poe.

You stayed several paces behind him, though you didn’t let your eyes wander from the back of his head. The walk was quiet, and you didn’t ask him why he headed towards his office instead of your original destination. He let himself into the room, not even glancing behind him to make sure that you were still there. You thought about taking off, for just a moment, making him chase after you, but you weren’t that stupid. You knew your punishment, whatever it was, would only be worse.

The moment you stepped through the door, your back collided with the hard wall next to it, the air threatening to be knocked from your lungs as you spluttered. One of his hands curled around your hip, holding you in place, while the other moved to the back of your head, his fingers curling into the strands as he harshly pulled back. His lips were suddenly attached to your neck, and then to your jaw, and you thought that he was finally going to kiss your lips, something he had never done before no matter how many times you had found yourself in a similar position, when they instead traveled down the other side. You wanted to whine, but knew it would be useless to complain.

Kissing was too intimate, too personal.

This was only sex.

Poe stopped at your collarbone, his tongue darting out to lick across your skin before he sunk his teeth into you, biting down. You groaned at the wicked sting, and something akin to a growl rasped in his throat.

His hand in your hair pulled harder, and his nose grazed up the expanse of your throat, his hot breath washing across your neck and sending shiver after shiver through your entire body. His lips curled around your skin, and you knew there was no way you would be able to hide the bruise he was leaving as he sucked a mark into you.

Or the second mark, or the third.

You hardly even registered as the front of your flight suit was ripped open, not until the fabric hit your feet and you felt something cold and hard rubbing across your nipples. He had flipped you, pinning you to the wall again though now your back was pressed flush against his while your front was being nearly crushed from how tightly he held you there. His hand on your hip disappeared, for just a second, until you felt it come down on your ass with a loud, reverberating smack.

The yelp that escaped you made Poe’s eyes flutter shut, you knew that because you could feel his eyelashes against the shell of your ear, but you knew the sound had been too quiet for his liking. He always liked to hear you scream for him, whether it be in pain or pleasure, or both. Both was, usually, his goal.

He landed another sharp blow to the same side, not giving you even a second to recover before numbers three and four hit. You pressed yourself further into the wall, if that were even at all possible, trying to move yourself away from his hand.

That earned you five and six, and he finally pulled that scream from your lips.

And a growl flew from his.

And then there was a small clinking noise, and the shuffling of fabric, and then your panties were being shoved to the side and you felt the head of his cock at your entrance.

He didn’t hesitate on pushing himself into your cunt, the stretch forcing a whimper from your lips that he completely ignored as he began to pound himself into you, setting a relentless and merciless pace that had you screwing your eyes tightly shut from the immense pleasure moving through you.

One of his hands was placed firmly on your hip while the other found its way to your neck, his fingers curling around your throat, applying just enough pressure to make you dizzy. He didn’t speak, the only noise in the room being your loud moans, his quiet grunts, and the sound of skin slapping against skin. It was almost as if he forgot that he was fucking a real, living, breathing person and not some toy, and the idea only made you hotter for him.

You could feel your arousal dripping down the inside of your thigh, and you had been with Poe enough times to know that the obscene wet sounds your pussy was making as he drove himself into you only turned him on further, only made him want to take you harder. You hadn’t thought such a thing was possible, but he was hitting a spot so deep inside of you, you were trembling.

Your legs felt weak underneath of you, as if they could give out at any second, and you were sure that you would have ended up a shaking pile on the floor had he not been so tightly pressed against you. Your skin felt like it was on fire, like small shocks set across your skin with each stroke of his cock along your inner walls. He growled again, his hand on your neck tightening, cutting your air supply off completely.

Hand flying to his wrist, you halfheartedly tried to pull him away, not wanting to let him know how much you were enjoying being used by him. Oh, but he knew. He could feel it in the way you clenched around him and hear it in the sound of the heavy moans that had been falling from your lips before.

Poe was still quiet, watching the way his cock disappeared into you, taking delight in the obscene stretch and the almost overwhelming tightness. You took him so well, so deep and ready, and while he would never admit it, he knew that no other fuck could ever feel so good. None of them had before.

He let up the pressure around your throat, just long enough for you to gasp sharply, inhaling as much air into your lungs as he would allow before his grip tightened all over again. His hand that had been on your hip moved into your hair, and he was pulling again, sending pinpricks along your scalp that only increased the pleasure.

Your clit ached for attention, the sensitive bud throbbing with a need that Poe completely ignored. There was no way in hell that he was going to let you come. Not this time. Not after the borderline suicidal stunt you had pulled, not after you had truly scared him — another thing he would never admit. No, you absolutely weren’t going to get to come that night, and maybe not even the next.

But Gods, Poe was so close. His silence was replaced with soft grunts, a few growls, though his hips never faltered. His stamina was unparalleled, his hips still snapping into yours with brutal force.

And when he spilled himself into you, his mouth by your ear as he let out the most sinful of moans, a noise that was rare for him as the man was typically all snarls and bared teeth, you thought that maybe you would get to reach your own end after all from the feeling of his alone.

He rammed himself into you through his high, his hips slowing, though the strength was still there. He only eased up his grip on your throat when he felt like you needed to breathe again, and this time, he didn’t squeeze again. You were a complete moaning, babbling mess, your skin blazing hot as sweat trickled down your chest. Your pussy was still practically begging him for a release, one that your mind knew was futile.

Poe allowed himself just a moment to rest against you, enjoying the closeness and the feeling of you, though he counteracted the soft moment by biting your ear, sending yet another jolt of pleasure straight to your core. And then he was pulling out, tucking himself back into his pants, letting your panties fall back into place without bothering to clean you up. He did always enjoy leaving a mess between your legs.

You stood there, nipples aching from rubbing against the cold metal wall, pussy still clenching, your breath coming in short, labored gasps, completely spent and energy gone.

And he wasn’t even going to give you a second to recover.

“You can go now.”

His words were clipped, tone almost formal, as if he hadn’t just been balls deep inside of you just moments before. But what else did you expect?

You bent down on shaky knees, reaching for your ruined flightsuit, pulling it back up your body. You tried your best to wrap it around yourself, glowering just slightly at the broken zipper he had ripped apart. He watched with bated eyes, arms folded across his chest, expression unreadable and completely passive. You found yourself hesitating for an unknown reason, maybe it was out of hope or maybe you were just trying to remember how to breathe and walk. But he raised an eyebrow, expectant, wondering why you were still standing in front of him when he had just told you to go.

You had no choice but to oblige.

Turning on your heel, hanging onto the last ounce of dignity you had left, you made your move to walk away, surprise coursing through your veins when you heard him speak up again.

“Wait.”

You didn’t turn to look at him, but you did stop, grinding your teeth together as irritation flooded your chest. What did he _want_ from you?

You heard his heavy boots moving towards you, and you had to fight the urge to cower back against the wall, hair standing on edge as your heart began to hammer in your chest. He came to stand in front of you, eyes still hard, jaw still slightly clenched.

“One more thing.”

His hand shot out to grip your wrist while the other settled on the small of your back, and then he was pulling you towards him, your chests colliding before your lips crashed together.

If you had been surprised before, now you were utterly shocked.

You didn’t move, didn’t kiss him back. He didn’t expect you to. But then his tongue slid across your bottom lip and you lost all inhibition, and you caved.

And Poe had never tasted anything so sweet as your lips.

But he pulled himself away, dropping his hands from your body, licking over his bottom lip as he took a moment to just stare at you. You thought he might say something, but if he had planned to, his words never came. He simply walked away, moved behind his desk and pulled the chair out before plopping down.

He ran a hand through his graying hair, disheveling it further, his eyes never finding your form again as he fiddled with something underneath of his desk and the subtle smell of spice slowly began to fill the room. You took that as your que to actually leave, and if you hadn’t cared for your pride you probably would have ran.

You took off down the hall, walking swiftly, chest burning with desire and maybe just a touch of hurt that you didn’t want to admit to. He had kissed you, finally he had kissed you, but it was bittersweet. You had to have imagined the cliché spark, the electric current that flowed from his lips and onto yours. The emotion that lingered underneath his touch in that moment.

He still couldn’t care.

You still couldn’t fully believe it.

And you stopped, tucking yourself into the corner of an abandoned hallway, your fingertips tracing over your bottom lip as your thoughts spiraled.

And Poe sat in his office, getting high and hoping that his pitiful attempt at a kiss was enough to tell you everything that he couldn’t say.

**Author's Note:**

> ok but i'm contemplating taking this further, so let me know what you guys think? or if you have any other fo!poe requests 'cause oh my god he is so much fun to write


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